Disclaimer: I’ve decided to write this post here instead of on my main blog because when I deal with this issue, it’s largely centered on one topic – money. Before I begin, I would like to say that this is a vent. I don’t know if it’s polite or not, but I had to get it off of my chest, which means I’m venting.
Now that I have that out the way, I want to talk about something really annoying here: other people’s expectations for your life.
Not too long ago, @Smooth_Orator shared some interesting thoughts on Twitter. He pointed out that people always feel the need to push you to want more. He went on to say that those who do that often say it’s because “you should want more.” I had to agree when he said that isn’t everyone’s aim in life.
It’s certainly not mine…and that’s okay.
For the record, wanting “more” and wanting “better” are two different things to me. In my own life, I hear people who mean well question why I’m not always moving or working crazy hours or doing something. They see my resting as a sign of laziness (never mind that I have an actual autoimmune disorder that dictates how shitty my day is going to be). To them, people who are always moving or doing something are focused on the right thing – making more money to buy more stuff that they probably won’t use anyway. They go on to support their argument that I MUST want more and I MUST want to work extra hard to get more. Otherwise, why do I have two degrees and want to go on to get my PhD? Or why do I want to travel so much and do other amazing things? To them, these things point to the fact that I want more and since I’m not “doing” anything in their minds to get there, it’s a problem.
Remember what I said about wanting better? Well, they’ve misunderstood that my aim to complete the goals I’ve set for myself is to have better.
I want to pay off my student loans because I want the lower stress levels that come with that. I want to become wealthy so I can break the cycle of poverty my immediate family is in. I would also like to give back to my community through a Homeless Amnesty program, a nonprofit that caters to young girls and their developmental needs and a scholarship in my Brother’s memory. I want to travel because I want to experience life in other places and I’ve always had a dream about filling putting thumbtacks in the cities I’ve gone to on an Atlas hanging in my library. I see nothing wrong with living comfortably or modestly. I don’t want the big house (more to clean and more people who will stay with your during the holidays because you have space). I don’t want the big truck or super long car (none of you have ever seen me try to park so why would they wish this on me). And I don’t want a ton of money to be a show-off.
I don’t want more. I just want better. And since that’s alright with me, it should be alright with you.